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Mom vs. Dad: Navigating Parenting Differences With All Good Intentions 妈妈与爸爸：为人父母的分歧航行的一切良好愿望
By Dr. Charles Sophy 查尔斯博士索非
Let’s face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.让我们面对现实吧：养育子女可以相当的冒险。 Rewarding at one turn, challenging at the next – it’s the ultimate roller-coaster for the parenting thrill seeker.在一个奖励反过来，具有挑战性的在下次-它的终极过山车的父母激动求职者。 In the Game of Life, you Read more...在游戏中的生命，你了解更多信息...

Best Online Parenting Advice 为人父母的最佳在线咨询
By Paulina Aubin 据保班
All of us want to be the best parent we can be, but we sometimes doubt whether we are doing what's best for our children.我们大家都希望是最好的父母，我们可以，但我们有时怀疑是否我们所要做的就是最好的为我们的孩子。 Good parenting skills are learned; we're not born with them.好为人父母的技巧是教训;我们不是与他们出生。 But where Read more...但是，在阅读更多资讯...

parenting quotes: There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. 为人父母的报价：只有两个持久遗赠我们希望给我们的孩子。 One of these is roots, the other, wings. 其中之一就是根基，另一方面，翅膀。 - Hodding Carter - Hodding卡特

Mom vs. Dad: Navigating Parenting Differences With All Good Intentions妈妈与爸爸：为人父母的分歧航行的一切良好愿望

Mom vs. Dad: Navigating Parenting Differences With All Good Intentions妈妈与爸爸：为人父母的分歧航行的一切良好愿望
By Dr. Charles Sophy查尔斯博士索非
Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure.让我们面对现实吧：养育子女可以相当的冒险。 Rewarding at one turn, challenging at the next - it's the ultimate roller-coaster for the在一个奖励反过来，具有挑战性的在下次-它的终极过山车的 thrill seeker.寻求刺激。 In the Game of Life, you rolled the dice and accepted the role of co-parent.在游戏中的生命，你推出的骰子，并接受了作用，共同母公司。 While the rules seem deceptively simple, (raise child into healthy adult), the game is often complicated by differences in虽然规则似乎简单，（提高孩子健康成人），比赛往往是复杂的差异 styles between partners.风格之间的合作伙伴。 It's these differences, if unresolved, that can abandon you in the land of defeat and leave you feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, with "game over" flashing on your internal video screen.它的这些差异，如果得不到解决，可以放弃你的土地，失败和离开你的感觉不知所措和劝阻，与“游戏结束”闪烁在您的内部视频画面。

Bridging a significant difference in桥有显着性差异 styles is one of the most difficult aspects of building a family.作风是一个最困难的方面建立一个家庭。 Parenting is the substantial task of balancing your beliefs and values (about child development, love, tradition and discipline) with your childhood experiences, in order to nurture healthy and secure children.为人父母是重大任务，平衡你的信仰和价值观（约儿童发展，爱情，传统和纪律）与您的童年经验，以培育健康和安全的儿童。 Add a co-parent to the equation - with their own beliefs, values and experiences - and suddenly, the balancing act becomes more complex.添加一个共同的母公司的方程-自己的信仰，价值观念和经验-突然，平衡的行为变得更加复杂。

Let's pretend: It's the weekend.假设：这是本周末。 The sun is shining and there isn't a cloud in the sky.阳光和没有云的天空。 You and your parent partner decide to take your young son, Joey, for a relaxing Sunday picnic in the park.您和您的母公司的合作伙伴决定采取的年幼的儿子，乔伊，对于放松星期日野餐在公园里。 Your partner loads the picnic basket with bottles of water, healthy ham and cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread (no crust for little Joey), and slices up a watermelon for a refreshing treat after a few games of touch football.你的伴侣载入野餐篮与瓶水，健康的火腿和奶酪三明治的全麦面包（无壳小乔伊），和切片了一个西瓜一个耳目一新治疗后几场比赛的触摸足球。 You hop on your bikes and peddle to the park, laughing all the way as you and Joey play follow the leader and he tries to copy your "pop-a-wheelies" with varying degrees of success, your partner watching warily from behind.你跳的自行车和兜售的公园，所有的笑像你和乔伊发挥后续的领导者，他试图复制您的“弹出一个wheelies ”不同程度的成功，你的伴侣看从后面警惕。

Finally, the park in sight, you all race to be the first one there, Joey pedaling as fast as his little legs will let him.最后，该公园看到，你的所有比赛，第一次出现，脚踏乔依快腿他很少会告诉他。 You and your partner are on his tail until the last moment when you both ease off to allow Joey the victory.您和您的合作伙伴是他的尾巴直到最后一刻，当您既缓解，使乔伊的胜利。

Elated and winded, Joey hops off his bike and requests a ride on the swings.扬眉吐气，喘气，乔伊啤酒花了他的自行车，并请乘坐的波动。 You turn to your partner and say, "I'll take him. Relax. Enjoy your lunch."您谈谈您的伙伴说： “我要他。放松。享受您的午餐” 。 Joey takes your hand and you toddle off to the swings.乔伊需要你的手，你遛关闭的波动。 He climbs aboard, ready for the dizzying heights and squeals as each push sends him higher and higher.他爬上船上，随时准备为令人眩目的高度和squeals ，因为每个推派他高。

Seconds ...continued below/秒...继续下文/

/continued... later, your anxious parent partner is at your side, saying "Don't push him so high! He looks motion sick. Joey hold tight!" /继续...后来，你渴望父母的合作伙伴是在你身旁说： “不要推他如此之高！他看上去议案生病。乔伊举行紧！ ” The comments sting, prompting feelings of anger that your partner would think you are not being safe with your child, resentment and even inadequacy.评论刺痛，促使感情的愤怒，你的伴侣可能会认为，你没有得到安全，你的孩子，怨恨，甚至不足。 To add insult to the injury, little Joey immediately picks up your partner's hesitation, looks confused and timid, and loudly announces "Daddy, stop!"新增侮辱，伤害，小乔伊立即拿起你的伴侣的犹豫，看起来混乱和胆怯，并大声宣布“爸爸，停止！ ” You quickly catch him and ease his swing into a stop position and watch with mixed emotions as Joey leaps off and runs into your partner's arms, whimpering as he's led back to the picnic area.你很快追上他，减轻他的挥杆到停止位置和手表百感交集的乔伊起飞和跨越式运行到你的伴侣的怀里，呜咽，他的领导回野餐区。

You slink back to join them, angry, hurt and frustrated, and eat your lunch in silence.您百事灵回来加入他们，愤怒，伤害和沮丧，吃你的午餐沉默。 Lunch over; you all wearily climb onto your bikes for the seemingly endless ride home.午餐以上;大家都疲惫爬上你的自行车的似乎是无止境骑回家。

How did our happy day go wrong?怎么我们快乐的日子去错了吗？ What, if anything, should be done about it?是什么，如果有的话，应该做什么呢？ Do you simply hope and pray for the arrival of Monday morning and the refuge of the work routine?你只是希望并祈祷的到来星期一上午和避难的日常工作？ No!否！ It's essential to communicate with your partner.这是必不可少的沟通与您的合作伙伴。

Plan a Response计划回应
Often, our first reaction when faced with a difference in styles is, "That's not what I would do."通常，我们的第一反应时，面临着一个不同风格是： “这不是我想这样做。 ” Conflicts bubble to the surface when one or both partners operate with "my way is the right way" mentality.冲突泡沫的表面时，一个或两个合作伙伴与“我的道路是正确的道路”的心态。 Discussing and resolving a conflict is the only way to minimize the negative impact differing讨论和解决冲突的唯一途径，尽量减少负面影响不同 styles can have on the family.风格能够对家庭的问题。 An unresolved conflict in一个尚未解决的冲突 styles is one of leading causes of partner breakups.作风是一个重要原因伙伴碎裂。

Relying on some of the following may minimize your distress as you plan a response:依赖于以下一些可能会尽量减少您的危难作为您计划的反应：

Communication: Take time to discuss each other's通讯：以时间来讨论彼此的 styles and values.风格和价值观。 Work on listening to your partner as carefully as you would like them to listen to you.工作听你的伴侣为你仔细想他们听你的。
Awareness (self and others, especially your child): Be aware if your own childhood is influencing how you are reacting to your child or your co-parent, and assess if your reaction is a fit for today's situation. （认识自己和他人，尤其是您的孩子）：请注意，如果你自己的童年是如何影响你的反应你的孩子或您的同事的父母，并评估如果你的反应是一个适合今天的局面。 Ask yourself: Why did you react that way?问问自己：你为什么反应这样呢？ Why did they?他们为什么？

Ownership (your actions/non-actions): Don't play the blame game.所有权（你的行动/非行动）：不要发挥指责的游戏。 Examine what role your actions or non-actions played in the conflict.检查什么样的作用你的行动或不行动，发挥了冲突。

Control (who has it; who needs it): Understand each other's needs for this vital resource.控制（谁拥有，谁需要它）：了解对方的需求，这一重要资源。 Strive to be more flexible and to not have to always be in control.争取更加灵活，并没有始终在控制。 Never undermine your partner or your partner's从来没有破坏你的伴侣或你的伴侣的 in front of your children.在您的孩子。

Resolution (bring issues to closure): Unresolved issues are a sure course to dissolution.决议（提请关闭的问题）：未解决的问题是确保当然解散。 Don't put off dealing with the important conflicts.不要拖延处理的重要冲突。

Keep in mind: Despite your differences, you both want what's best for the children.请记住：尽管你的差异，你们都想要最好的儿童。 This wasn't the first conflict and it probably won't be the last.这是不是第一次冲突，它可能不会是最后一次。 The next time you and your spouse lock horns over a下一次你和你的配偶喇叭锁了 matter, remember to relax, be compassionate, and know that your kids need you both.的问题，记得放松，是富有同情心，知道你的孩子都需要你。
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services.查尔斯索非博士目前担任医务主任洛杉矶县部儿童和家庭事务。 He also has a private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California.他还拥有一家私人精神病的做法比佛利山庄，加州。 Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep 'Em Off My Couch" blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's biggest problems.查尔斯索非博士，作者的“保持吊起了我沙发”博客，提供实时简单的答案为解决生活的最大问题。 He specializes in improving the mental health of children.他擅长在改善儿童心理健康。 To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at drsophy.com .联系索非博士，请访问他的博客在drsophy.com 。

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